It's been a while, since I last felt the urge to share my world here on the blog. It has been a difficult year and a half as I learned how to navigate widowhood, groundlessness, fear, sadness and darkness. But the beauty is that within all that pain, there is still the spark of life and joy and courage and meaning. Steadily that spark has grown in my life to the point where I now feel strong and capable again, able to contribute again, to the point where I have rediscovered joy. Sorry to have been gone so long, but some walks require you to hunker down and power through without a lot of extraneous distraction.
Sooo.... anyways. One of the things that has brought great joy to my world lately is a new addition to my family.... When my last dog, Gwen, passed away 6 months ago, I powerfully resisted getting another dog. My life felt too disjointed to take on the responsibility of further pet ownership. Better to wait until I knew what the heck I was doing with my life, until I had it all figured out. And then something really sucky happened. My house was burgled. A thief broke into my car, opened my garage and entered my house through the garage. My belongings were rifled, some little stuff was taken and my fancy new bike was stolen. My sense of safety and security was shaken and I was angry and hurt. If you've never had your house burgled, it's not a pleasant feeling to know that someone has been inside your house, violating your privacy, taking your things. The scariest part about it was knowing that it happened while I was home, in the house! And I never heard a thing. I realized that if I'd had a dog, it would have alerted me that something was happening. When I made my report to the police, the officer told me that over 80% of the houses that are burgled are ones without a dog. Dogs deter the thieves looking for an easy target. Add to that my sister, the dog trainer, who had been urging me to get a dog and promising to help train it; and the die was cast. It was obviously time to get a dog. So my sister found me the perfect puppy, and took her home for basic training.
A month later I flew out to Columbus, where my sister lives, to pick up the new little member of my family, Daisy. My sister had been sending me progress reports, videos and pictures and I was already fairly smitten. But when I held the little wigglebutt of love in my lap and felt her lick my ear I fell completely head over heels and it's been a romping love affair ever since. It turns out that a wiggly little doglet was exactly what I needed in my life. She has given me a reason to get up, get out and get moving. And she returns my love in tenfold. She is someone to talk to when the house gets too quiet, and someone to remind me that you have to take a break every now and then and throw the ball. Who knew that the sucky experience of getting burgled would bring such joy and beauty back to my world? You never know what life is going to hand you, sometimes you get the sucky bike stealers, but if you keep your eyes open you might just end up with joyful wigglebutts in the bargain. With Daisy at my side life is full of giggles and good times.
P.S. I did get my bike back eventually. Thank you Eugene Police Department. It's always a good idea to keep track of serial numbers!
She is a beauty and there is nothing that compares to the love that our 4 legged companions give us unconditionally...and who the heck would break in with that face staring them down. ;-) Truly, she is beautiful and I am so happy to see that you are finding peace in your life journey again. <3
Posted by: Kim | November 05, 2014 at 05:58 PM
I'm sorry, Janel. I didn't know. I'm glad you have family...and Daisy to stand with you. Enjoy the happy moments and just breathe through those knock-you-to-your-knees moments. Eventually the balance will tip and there will be more of the former and less of the latter. I'll be holding good thoughts for you.
Posted by: Yvonne Warman | November 05, 2014 at 07:07 PM
Welcome, Daisy! I know you'll be a great companion.
I certainly can imagine someone in the house without you knowing it. I can't tell you how many times my DH has come home from errands and made it all the way to my office door without my knowing he was home!
Posted by: Barbara Seiver | November 05, 2014 at 09:36 PM
What a gorgeous little wigglebutt - yes, good will come out of bad if you let it. So good to hear such positive and living thoughts from you.
Posted by: Freyalyn | November 06, 2014 at 05:41 AM
I cheer your journey thru the sucky stuff. Love your new friend. Welcome back.
Posted by: Crow Johnson Evans | November 06, 2014 at 09:42 AM
Hi, Janel. So sorry to hear about Gwen. And uh, yeah, burglars in the house *while you're there*?? Yikes. Congrats on the new family member. She's adorable. Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself at last.
Posted by: KathyH | November 06, 2014 at 02:18 PM
So glad to hear your sense of joy is returning. I can well imagine that Daisy has been a big part of that. There is nothing quite as encouraging and stimulating as puppy kisses!
Posted by: Nancy | November 06, 2014 at 05:51 PM
Glad to hear that you are "back"..........I missed you. Give Daisy a big hug for me.
Judy Gilchrist
Posted by: J J Gilchrist | November 06, 2014 at 06:25 PM
What a beautiful dog. Daisy is sure to bring you many years of joy and happiness.
Posted by: Savannagal | November 07, 2014 at 10:34 AM
I have loved my familiars and am happy for their presence. They are what I call the BFD home security system. Your Daisy looks like a sweet girl!
Posted by: Babs Ausherman | November 08, 2014 at 04:58 AM
What a beautiful dog. I'm glad to hear something good came out of several awful events.
Posted by: sprite | November 10, 2014 at 03:31 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I knew you weren't doing much blogging any more but I didn't know why. One of the things that I have learned from loss is that we will never be the same people we were before the loss, that we have to start over almost from scratch to define who we are, that we will never forget, and that we end up being stronger people than we ever imagined. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and there is life after loss and it is still a good life and we have much to be thankful for. God is blessing you even when you don't know it.
Posted by: shadow | November 10, 2014 at 10:53 PM
Glad to hear that you are finding a new way and have a new companion who brings you joy. I can't imagine how hard it has been to walk through all you have. I am very happy to see you find the other side of it all. Your new "wigglebutt" should be a wonderful addition. I hope she brings you years and years of happiness and love.
Take care!
Posted by: Jennifer Jett | November 13, 2014 at 10:22 AM