shedding pain

Friday marked the 365th day since my beloved Rustle left this earth. I have learned and felt so much in this year. The pain and sorrow has been exquisite, but so has the hope and joy and beauty.

Several months into this grief year, I came to the conclusion that, if I wasn't ready to die (and I'm not), then I might as well live, and live well. That's what Rustle would have wanted for me, and it's what I want for myself.

This process of shedding pain and re-opening my wounded heart to life hasn't been easy. Every step of the way I have been held with love and support by family, friends, acquaintances and even complete strangers. I am so grateful. You have no idea how much courage and hope a small act of kindness and understanding can carry.

I look forward to a kinder, gentler 12 months as I move beyond the first year and embrace the next chapter of my life. Thank you for being there.

Comments

[KathyH]

What a beautiful photo, Janel. You're still in my prayers. Hope to see you soon.

[Bev]

I frequently check your blog & send supporting thoughts your way--

[Virginia/KiniaCat]

'Tis a lovely photo. And such a heartful and honest post.
I can't seem to find an adequate response so I'll just wish you continued strength and healing.

[Charlene]

You're incredibly lucky to have experienced the depth of feeling apparent in your lovely photo. I can only imagine your journey of the past year, and wish you all the best going forward.

[Nancy]

So sorry you've had to go through this heart wrenching experience. Wishing you the very best as you get back to into the swing of life.

[sprite]

Wishing you peace through this process...

[Susan Cross]

Janel, I feel as though I've already met you. I've knitted every one of the socks in Eclectic Sole and Enchanted Sole (except Firebird-and I just bought the yarn for that) and I loved all of them. Then I discovered your blog, and learned why the wonders took a hiatus. Since you felt like a good friend after all that knitting we did "together", I felt a rip in my heart too. I discovered your photos on Pinterest and thought, "How brave and how big-hearted, to create such beauty when there is so much pain." So thank you for giving me so much, and for sharing some of your life with me. I hope this year is full of wonderful things for you, and that in time pain will be replaced with peace.

[Evonne]

Janel, I wish you well on this journey of grief, healing, hope, rediscovery.